grief

Reclaiming the Moral High Ground

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Our county is once again mourning the loss of multiple lives at the hands of misguided individuals. We are at a moral crossroad that must be navigated with care. We can either abandon the truth and retreat deeper into apathy, or we can reclaim the moral high ground and revitalize our community. I’d like to … Read more

Still Angry

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WebMD.com has the following description of the anger stage of grief: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-coping-with-grief Anger: This reaction usually occurs when an individual feels helpless and powerless. Anger can stem from a feeling of abandonment through a loved one’s death. An individual may be angry at a higher power or toward life in general. When my uncle, Shun was … Read more

Deep Water

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As a small child I was very close to my great grandmother, Lucille Mason Bishop (Big Mama). My cousin Chris said everyone in our family has a “favorite family member”. Big Mama was my favorite. She was my Saturday morning coffee drinking buddy. She was my friend. When I was 9 she became ill. I … Read more

I Just Got That Faith

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Another stage of the grieving is Bargaining. According to WebMD “This stage may involve persistent thoughts about what could have been done to prevent the loss. People can become preoccupied about ways that things could have been better. If this stage is not properly resolved, intense feelings of remorse or guilt may interfere with the … Read more

Denial, numbness, and shock

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In my research on grief, I’ve stumbled across information on five stages. The stages are not sequential, meaning, we don’t experience them in any particular order. Depending on the circumstances, we may experience one or all of the stages in random order. Ultimately, we want to reach the Acceptance stage. The five stages of grief … Read more

About Grief

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I’m a Pastor and in my role, I’m occasionally tasked with ministering to families and individuals who are experiencing grief. Some are grieving over the loss of a loved one. A few may be grieving over the loss of a job or opportunity. Still others grieve over broken friendships and broken hearts.  I’m not immune … Read more

Guard Your Heart

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Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23 NKJV)

Lately the pressures of family, ministry, work, and school have caused my emotions to spill outward. The interesting thing is most of what’s coming out isn’t new. It’s all old feelings that I’ve tried to bury in my heart through the years. As I’m going through these experiences, I’ve resolved to do my best to express my feelings rather than suppress them. Honestly, this decision has made my mind clearer and my heart lighter. Here’s how you can do it too. 

Keep or guard your heart. It means to be aware of your heart and feelings. It means to pay attention to your emotional state. To guard your heart well, you’ll need a healthy and accurate emotional vocabulary. You need to know the subtle differences between anger, frustration, and disappointment for example and know when you’re feeling each one. This will give you the ability to address your feelings correctly rather than waiting for them to fade and take up residence in your heart. 

Guard your heart with diligence. The word used for diligence here in the scripture literally means to imprison or jail. Years ago I directed a ministry to a juvenile detention facility. One of the first things you learn is security seeks to keep inmates from going out but they’re just as diligent about monitoring what’s brought inside. Everyday items like paper clips, staples, and even plastic cutlery could be used by detainees to harm themselves or harm the officers. There was always a strong officer on duty ready to search any bags if needed.

We must have the same diligence when it comes to our hearts. The baggage of everyday life has to be checked at the door by a strong dose of truth from God’s word and consistent prayer. Discouragement, depression, anger, hatred, unforgiveness, and any thing else you can think of just walks right into our hearts when there is no truth with which to compare it. When these emotional challenges get a foothold in our hearts, they eventually become our issues in life. Under the right circumstances with the right pressure, they flow out of us in ways that hurt others and ourselves. 

When we guard our hearts, keeping damaging emotions out by accepting the truth of God’s word, we will find the issues of life are easier to deal with. Instead of our hearts being a source of negative issues, we will become a source of healthy, positive attitudes and emotions.