Happy New Year!

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This morning my wife Melissa and I talked about the New Year. I explained to her that the New Year isn’t as significant to me as my birthday that comes later in the month because of the experiences I had growing up in Birmingham in the 80’s and 90’s when I was in high school. 

The crimes in Birmingham’s urban area at that time didn’t make national news like many of the recent tragedies that occur in suburban areas today. But if you lived in the city at that time there were fights, stabbings, and shootings every week at parties, high school football games, basketball games, the skating ring, the teen clubs, the mall parking lots, the movie theaters, and just about any other place you could imagine. 

Some of the violence was gang related but there were also cases where teenagers were being killed and robbed for their sneakers and jackets. Even though I was raised in a loving family and was an honors student at a magnet high school, I had a gun pulled on me at band practice after school one day because a drug dealer wanted my sunglasses. As a result of all this violence I had friends that didn’t live to see our high school graduation more than 20 years ago. So, for me, I’m more thankful for being alive to see another year of my personal life than I am the new calendar year. 

After sharing this with my wife, she said I should have more joy and that I have a reason to celebrate. She said life’s too short to be so serious all the time. She suggested I shouldn’t allow the New Year or my birthday to pass by without truly letting loose and celebrating the life God has given me.  I agree. Life is too short to focus on the stresses of life, to get too wrapped up in the struggle to be successful, or to risk our happiness by living recklessly. 

“For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” James 4:14b NKJV

We should not allow our hearts to be brought low by the losses of our past. We shouldn’t put all of our hope in the future we do not know. Life can reach it’s end as quickly as a vapor vanishes away. Instead, we should rejoice today in the life we have in God and place our hope in Him alone. Every breath we breathe and day we live is a blessing from God. We should celebrate the New Year with thankful hearts filled with gladness. Happy New Year!

A Thanksgiving Blessing

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I’ll never forget the holiday our family grew. Early in our marriage, Melissa the kids and I would either visit her family or mine for Thanksgiving. Well one particular year, we were hosting everyone at our house. It made us feel like grown ups!

I was really excited and talked about it at work with a few co-workers. To my surprise, a few of them revealed they wouldn’t be able to go home for the holiday. It didn’t take long for me to offer them the opportunity to come to our home for Thanksgiving dinner. 

“I will make you a great nation; I will bless you And make your name great; And you shall be a blessing.” (Genesis 12:2 NKJV)

Two of the younger guys from work took us up on the offer. These guys fit in like family. They shared stories about holidays with their families. They played video games with our kids. They helped out as much as they wanted and marveled over my wife’s cooking. One of them said the cake was so good it could be served in a war zone and cause world peace!

On that day, we were blessed with good fellowship, fresh perspectives on the holiday, the opportunity to share our faith, and the joy of giving. Ultimately, we received more than what we gave. That’s my challenge to you. We all know someone who could use some holiday cheer. Let God use you to be a blessing to others. 

A Little About Branding

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Last week, I spent some time talking with a few friends about branding identity. When I speak of branding I mean the overall organizational image, The brand communicates the organization’s mission, and promise of performance, to the public, even if in subtle ways, such as the way customer service is delivered or the color of product packaging. Ultimately a company’s brand affects how the public will engage with the organization.

For example, if I mention Disney, Google, Baptist, Catholic, Kraft, or Betty Crocker, each of these brands may bring to mind experiences or feelings one may associate with these brands.; whether good, bad or indifferent.

As a part of the process of defining the brand for our organization, my friends and I engaged in an exercise to find one word to use to describe our organization. Discovering the one word that communicates clearly and easily to all of our stakeholders (staff, investors, customers, etc.) can mean the difference between instant brand recognition and brand obscurity. Eventually we will seek to define every aspect of our brand identity.

Here are some ideas on how to define your brand identity.
  
Look within. What passions and desires motivate you?. That passion will help to clarify your perspectives and the reasons that the brand is important to you.  Ask questions like “what positive feelings do I experience when I think about our organization?” “What are the take-aways I foresee for our clients/customers?”

The answers to these questions and others like them will help us realize the true starting point for brand definition. If you don’t have any passions for your business, church, or organization in it’s current form, then describe what the organization would look like in order to ignite your passion.
  
Look without. Once you’ve done your introspective search to define your passion  then envision how this will be perceived in the minds of stakeholders. You can use tools like surveys, focus groups, or  market demographics to help gather data on target market preferences.  Also, keep in mind that your individual perspective and preference may not be identical to those you are trying to reach.
  
Look across.  Are your values and goals for the organization’s brand shared by major stakeholders? Are you communicating the intended meaning well?
  
Look around. What colors, textures, words, images, shapes, are being used to communicate your message to your intended audiences.  Here’s an example: The car company, Ferrari typically presents their cars in red or black, not softer colors such taupe because those softer colors don’t communicate the intended message of speed, excitement, and power.
  
Look to Communicate. Now that you’ve defined your passion, how the brand is perceived by the intended audiences, and determined specific elements that communicate your brand well, it’s time to communicate. In order to communicate well, you need to know the best mediums to use in order to share this brand message with your intended audience.  This may be print media, broadcast media, digital media, email marketing, social media networks, blogs, etc.

Regardless of the medium, The brand message must be consistent. Having the same look and feel across platforms will help build brand awareness and hopefully, lead to brand loyalty.
  
Keep looking. Always provide a means for  your audience to provide feedback allowing communication with the brand to become a dialog instead of a broadcast. Consumers today want to engage with the brands they follow and brands should listen and make the necessary adjustments. 

Put People First

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The words of Nehemiah the son of Hachaliah. It came to pass in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Shushan the citadel, that Hanani one of my brethren came with men from Judah; and I asked them concerning the Jews who had escaped, who had survived the captivity, and concerning Jerusalem. And they said to me, “The survivors who are left from the captivity in the province are there in great distress and reproach. The wall of Jerusalem is also broken down, and its gates are burned with fire.” (Nehemiah 1:1-3 NKJV)

Before setting out to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, Nehemiah’s chief concern was for the people in Jerusalem at that time. His passion was for the “great distress and reproach” and the wall just happened to be “also broken down”. This may come as a surprise but the book of Nehemiah isn’t about rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. It’s actually more about making reforms in the lives of the Israelites. 

More than half the book is dedicated to chronicling Nehemiah’s efforts to restore a God centered culture among the people. The rebuilding of the walls was necessary to create a controlled environment where deep change and transformation could take place. As a leader, Nehemiah put people and their greatest needs first. Leaders today must do the same in order to be successful. 
 
The people we lead may be team members, family, employees and staff, or customers and clients. Regardless of where we lead them or the personal goals we have for leading them, we must remind ourselves to put them first. We may have a goal to grow a ministry through our leadership but the people we lead also have a goal to fulfill their spiritual purpose in our ministries. We may want to increase sales for products and services at our businesses, but we can’t forget the customers and clients make purchases to fulfill their own needs. The focus must always remain on the people, not profits. 

We have a responsibility to lead those on our teams to opportunities for success and fulfillment. We can lead customers and clients to helpful products, services, and solutions. Our programs and strategies are only vehicles designed to carry people to the place where their needs can be met. Once they reach their goals through our leadership, they will help us fulfill our goals. 

Time and Planning

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The words of Nehemiah the son of Hachaliah. It came to pass in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Shushan the citadel, (Nehemiah 1:1 NKJV)

And it came to pass in the month of Nisan, in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was before him, that I took the wine and gave it to the king. Now I had never been sad in his presence before. (Nehemiah 2:1 NKJV)

It Takes Time to Plan Well
In the Jewish month Chislev Nehemiah heard about the conditions in Jerusalem. He fasted, prayed, and planned. Four months later in the month Nisan he stood before the king, shared his plan in detail, and received what he needed to rebuild the walls around Jerusalem. Let that sink in. He took four months to plan a strategy that allowed him to lead the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem in a miraculous 52 days with ancient construction methods and mostly unskilled labor. 

The level of success we experience in our projects, events, and initiatives is directly proportional to the amount of time we spend in quality planning. Last minute, knee jerk, rapid fire planning causes us to lean more on talent than excellence. I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t want to rely on talent alone because deep down inside I know I’m just not that talented. Quality, strategic planning gives us the ability to position people and resources to make up for our flaws as well as take advantage of opportunities. 

What are some other advantages of time and planning?

Staying Connected

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Tell me, O you whom I love, Where you feed your flock, Where you make it rest at noon. For why should I be as one who veils herself By the flocks of your companions? (Song of Solomon 1:7 NKJV)

Song of Solomon is a love poem that speaks about the intimate relationship between a Shulamite woman and her Belived, King Solimon. The poem has stanzas where they each express their love. In Song of Solomom 1:7, the Shulamite woman asks her Beloved where he feeds his flock and where he rests at noon. In modern term she’s asking where he’s working today and his plans for his lunch break. 

She isn’t being nosy or trying to meddle in his business. She’s not being needy and she’s not a stalker. She’s simply trying to make a connection with him. She’s seeking to maintain their intimacy in their daily routine. Strong, long lasting marriages are fueled and protected by emotional, physical, and social intimacy. When we’re physically apart from our spouses we’re still married. To maintain the relationship we need to know when, where, and how to connect even when we’re apart. 

“What time are you having lunch” is a question that opens the door for connection. The Shulamite woman could take a break from her day to meet and share a meal. She could send him something special to eat by a messenger. Today, we have many more opportunities for connection than the couple in Song of Solomon. We can share a phone call or video call at lunch time. We could connect quickly when we arrive at work to let our spouses know we’ve made it there safely or just as we’re leaving the office so they can anticipate our return. We can share a text or picture message on our breaks just to say “I love you”. 

These little connections help us maintain intimacy throughout the day. It’s important because without these connections, we or our spouses may inadvertently make ourselves available to connect intimately with others. The Shulamite woman asks “why should I be as one who veils herself by the flocks of your companions?” She’s basically saying without the connection to her Beloved she’s like a single woman who’s open to the advances of other guys. Let me be blunt about this. If we disconnect from our spouses we leave the door open for others to fulfill their need for intimacy. We’re leaving the door open for us to connect with others as well. 

The remedy for this situation is the same for every area of our marriages. Stay connected. Marriages that are disconnected are insecure and vulnerable to outside influences. But marriages that are intimate with full disclosure are closer, deeper, and last a lifetime. 

Opened Doors

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“And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write, ‘These things says He who is holy, He who is true, “He who has the key of David, He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens” : (Revelation 3:7 NKJV)

Recently I had a great conversation with Rev. H. Frank Centrallo, my father in the ministry. As usual, he shared a nugget of wisdom with me that helped me put things in the right perspective. He paraphrased Revelation 3:7 and said “God opens and closes the door of opportunity, not us. Our job is only to walk through the door. We can’t force it open when He’s decided to close it.”

As I accept the closed doors in my life and look to the future of my life, family, ministry, and business, his statement reminds me to allow God to be my guide. Here are some things we can learn from this verse.

God can be trusted.
God is holy and true. There is no one like him, full of wisdom and knowledge, who always wants what’s best for us. This why God can be trusted. He doesn’t have an alternative agenda that only benefits himself. In every situation, good or bad, God is working things out for our good.

God has the key.
The “key of David” is a figurative term that symbolizes royal authority. As a sovereign king, there are no areas of the kingdom where his influence isn’t permitted. As citizens of God’s kingdom, we can rest assure God has complete access to every area that concerns us. God can unlock any prison that binds us, open any opportunity to bless us, and lock the doors to our lives so the enemy can’t harm us.

God’s power is absolute.
There is a song that says “what God has for me, it is for me.” When we consider how he opens doors that no one shuts and closes doors no one may open, it should give us hope. The opportunities God will open for us cannot be taken by anyone, no matter how powerful they may seem. Conversely, closed opportunities cannot be opened to us no matter how hard we try.  God uses opened and closed doors to guide us on a path to our future.

We must learn to trust his judgement at each door of opportunity whether open or closed. We must have confidence in his authority and power as he acts on our behalf. When we lean and depend on him, we will find we’re right where we’re supposed to be.

Guard Your Heart

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Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23 NKJV)

Lately the pressures of family, ministry, work, and school have caused my emotions to spill outward. The interesting thing is most of what’s coming out isn’t new. It’s all old feelings that I’ve tried to bury in my heart through the years. As I’m going through these experiences, I’ve resolved to do my best to express my feelings rather than suppress them. Honestly, this decision has made my mind clearer and my heart lighter. Here’s how you can do it too. 

Keep or guard your heart. It means to be aware of your heart and feelings. It means to pay attention to your emotional state. To guard your heart well, you’ll need a healthy and accurate emotional vocabulary. You need to know the subtle differences between anger, frustration, and disappointment for example and know when you’re feeling each one. This will give you the ability to address your feelings correctly rather than waiting for them to fade and take up residence in your heart. 

Guard your heart with diligence. The word used for diligence here in the scripture literally means to imprison or jail. Years ago I directed a ministry to a juvenile detention facility. One of the first things you learn is security seeks to keep inmates from going out but they’re just as diligent about monitoring what’s brought inside. Everyday items like paper clips, staples, and even plastic cutlery could be used by detainees to harm themselves or harm the officers. There was always a strong officer on duty ready to search any bags if needed.

We must have the same diligence when it comes to our hearts. The baggage of everyday life has to be checked at the door by a strong dose of truth from God’s word and consistent prayer. Discouragement, depression, anger, hatred, unforgiveness, and any thing else you can think of just walks right into our hearts when there is no truth with which to compare it. When these emotional challenges get a foothold in our hearts, they eventually become our issues in life. Under the right circumstances with the right pressure, they flow out of us in ways that hurt others and ourselves. 

When we guard our hearts, keeping damaging emotions out by accepting the truth of God’s word, we will find the issues of life are easier to deal with. Instead of our hearts being a source of negative issues, we will become a source of healthy, positive attitudes and emotions.

Awesome Kids

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I recently took our daughter, Faith to the dentist. Everyone in the office, the dentist, assistants, and clerk all commented on how great Faith was during the visit. The clerk told me “she’s an awesome kid”. I replied with “both my kids are awesome.” The clerk said “I never hear parents say that about their kids anymore.” So I shared with her four things Melissa and I tried to do with our kids that I believe God used to make them awesome. Let me share them with you.

We gave them the gift of our presence.
“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” Proverbs 29:15

Parenting is a contact sport. You can’t mold kids from a distance. You can’t just be a spectator watching the TV raise them. Children left to themselves bring their parents shame (out of control, poor character, lack of values, unsupervised activities and vices, etc.) So we tried to always be there for our kids and be there with our kids. We made a sacrifice to always have one of us parents at home. Many families can’t afford to do this in today’s economy but when you’re at home, be available and engaged. Watch movies with your kids, play games with them, talk with them. Even if you won’t play the game, sit with them while they play and watch them. We did this just last night when DeVonti came home to visit. He and Faith played video games while Melissa and I watched and engaged with them.

We kept an opened door.
“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

We never tried to provoke our kids or put them their place. Everyone knew their roles in the family. It was never us against them. So everyone has a voice that should be heard. We may not have always agreed but they never really felt they needed to hide anything from us because they knew they would be heard. Because of this, our kids know they can talk to us about anything. We’ve talked about mistakes, victories, likes and dislikes, dating, sex, social life, finances, and just about any other topic. The door swings both ways. When we make mistakes we swallow our pride, go to our kids and apologize to them. Seeing our example, they too come to us to apologize for their mistakes.

We welcomed their friends.
“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.” Hebrews 13:2

DeVonti was always bringing home “strays”. These were kids who needed a ride home, or needed a place to hang after football practice, or guys who just wanted to spend the weekend at our house. As parents we were happy with this because we never had to wonder what trouble he was getting into. He was at home with his friends which gave us the opportunity to examine the character of his friends and converse with him later about how to choose friends wisely. Yes, it was expensive trying to feed his friends. Yes, they stayed up super late making all kinds of noise, making a good night’s sleep impossible. Yes, our schedules were inconvenienced. But they were safe in our home, abiding by our rules, being impacted by Godly values.

We set up memorial.
“Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.” Joshua 4:7

Anytime God blessed our family in any way, we paused to make a memory. Any time we faced a challenge, we paused to point it out so once we overcame the challenge we could acknowledge God and make a memory. Our lives are filled with “remember when God did…”. We were also quick to point out positive values and character mistakes that occurred around us. We didn’t just assume they knew better when they saw an athlete or celebrity do things that weren’t positive. We took time to compare it to godly values. This allowed our kids to have a healthy framework for discerning right and wrong.

What are some principles you’ve used to help raise awesome kids?

More Than Enough

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Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. (1 Corinthians 1:26-29 NLT)

I have a hero complex brought on by watching movies and reading comics as a kid. Even when I dream at night I carry a light saber, I can fly, and I’ve got my own bat cave. When I’m awake I secretly seek to reach some epic victory in life or arrive at some great destiny as I fade into happily ever after. I’m a winner and that’s how super hero winners think sometimes.

All delusions aside; here’s the truth. I may never be the “save the universe” guy but I’m just enough for whatever God needs me to do. I’m not the smartest, strongest, best looking, or most respected in my sphere of influence. If we’re honest, none of us have it all together. We’re just normal, natural people who are happy to know The Lord chose us personally.

It’s God who gives us significance. It’s his standard of righteousness that makes us look so good. His holiness in our lives makes us special compared to the rest of the world. His grace gives us strength in our weaknesses. His favor swings doors open wide so we can seize opportunities. Alone, we’re just enough but when God adds his super to our natural, together, we’re more than enough.